Refractory Period

I think I should be studied for having the quickest psychological refractory period known to man. I just can't seem to hold grudges.

I might fight, be irritated or even livid for a bit. But then just as fast as it came, it's gone. Like completely, laugh-out-loud, look you in the eye and not beat you, over it.

Even when I was younger I couldn't even throw a long enough tantrum to get my way. Stomp, hold my breath, cry. "K. I'm done."

Or maybe that's called A.D.D.

Either way: awesome.

Symphony

Everyone has their default bitter action. Mine is music. Come to think of it, most of my default actions paint the green guidance line to my iPod, but I digress.

If I yell and sing loud enough in my car, your heart will hear me and you will be sorry.

For my next song I would like to play a little something from my "Happily Fuck Off & Die" album. Sing loud if you know it.

"The Trainwreck" by The Prize Fight
Sample:
Next time you see me I hope you'll want to talk about it cause if you think I'll take it again, you've got another thing coming. Most important of all, I'm here to let you know I never knew I could hate til I met you.

and

"Surprise, Surprise" by The Starting Line
Sample:
I'll be your friend in hell, until then I despise you and I probably always will. I can't afford to make another mistake like you.

This is war. Every line is about who I don't wanna write about anymore.

Boomerang

You have it, hold it, throw it out and it comes back.

If I could describe myself in one word, it's boomerang. That's what I am lately. Well, not the boomerang but the one left there when it spins away.

You aren't consistent. You leave, circle some shit and then you're back. Whether it be a Facebook apology, text message at 5:30 am on Christmas Eve or running into you at a bar again. This shit always comes back around. These same three people always come back when it's easy for them. Step back and realize it means something different to me than it does to you and then choose your next actions wisely. Because I am not putting myself out there to get hurt. I'm there cause I feel it - felt it and thought you did too.

I saw you again. I think you used me again. Should we try this before we give up and move on? And pretend to restore what we have and hold on.

Chemistry

I loved chemistry as a subject in school. I mean what's better than properties of matter, solubles, compounds and chemical reactions?

Chemical reactions. Do you think that's what happens when two people click? A chemical reaction? Like dopamine floods your brain causing warm fuzzies in your belly and warmth in your extremities - including your wondering hands.

Sometimes it's vanilla; like bland, tofu, ordinary, climb on top me and it's sand in my mouth, boring.

Then sometimes it's the Cold Stone Creamery mixture of cinnamon and birthday cake ice cream with chocolate chips and sprinkles in it; like fire, charged, make steam on the windows, fun.

Why is that? How is that? I'm not doing anything different. Is it just the company you keep or how much C_nH_2n+1OH is in your system? No. It can't be the alcohol. It has to be the company.

Keeping company with chemistry.